


Love Like You

by Pantton_Sandacers



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Cookies, Established Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confession, M/M, Prinxiety - Freeform, Sanders Sides - Freeform, Steven Universe - Freeform, be more chill references, but they're brief, logicality - Freeform, pinning, self hate, thomas sanders - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 10:49:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13339689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pantton_Sandacers/pseuds/Pantton_Sandacers
Summary: Logan has been pinning after Patton for who knows how long, and he's certain no one could ever love an emotionless robot like him, but when he hears the song 'Love Like You' and Roman and Virgil tell him about taking risks for love, he thinks he might just have a chance.





	1. The Answer

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so excited to be writing fanfics again! Hopefully I can finish this one up quickly!  
> WARNING there are Steven Universe spoilers for the episode 'The Answer' in this fic.  
> Warnings aside, I hope you enjoy this fic! :D

Logan sat between Patton and Roman on the sofa in the commons, Virgil snuggling up to Roman on the other side of him. They were all currently engrossed in the phenomenal episode of Steven Universe titled, “The Answer.” Ruby had fused with Sapphire while trying to save her life, Garnet had just unfused for the first time, and Ruby was being threatened with her life. All the sides were on the edge of their seats, awaiting what would come next when _suddenly-_

_Beep!_

“That’s the cookies!” Patton exclaimed, pausing the episode right at the climax, much to the others’ dismay.

A chorus of groans filled the room as Patton got up to check the oven.

 “Aw, c’mon!” Roman complained.

“It was right at the good part!” Virgil chimed in.

“Did you have to pause it right then?” Logan asked.

“Do you want cookies or not?” Patton laughed at the light glares being shot at him as he disappeared into the kitchen.

After a begrudging admittance of their desire for the baked goods, Logan broke the silence, “I still don’t understand why Ruby decided to risk her own life for the narrow chance of saving Sapphire. It was already foreseen that Sapphire would be a casualty, why try to change the future when it’s predestined?”

“Because Ruby is gay for Sapphire and didn’t want her to die,” Virgil remarked.

“While that _is_ true, I believe the main motivation for her actions is love!” Roman began, “When you love somebody, you-“

“Put your pants on for theeeem,” Virgil sung, finishing Roman sentence.

Roman laughed, “Alright, Gay Oblong Pill. But when you love somebody, you… take a chance just for them!”

Logan rolled his eyes fondly, “Enough with the Be More Chill references. You were saying, Roman?”

“Well, when you love someone you’re willing to take risks for them! And bigger risks lead to bigger payoffs! And bigger payoffs lead to brighter futures where you can accomplish all your goals!” Roman’s excitement and volume grew near the end of his speech, sighing dramatically when he finished.

“Or, you can take a huge risk and have it backfire horribly and ruin your whole life,” Virgil added casually.

“Virgil!” Roman exclaimed.

“Hey! It’s my job to think about things like this, imagine if you just went through life taking risks left and right, it’d be a disaster. And that’s why you should never take risks. Ever. It’s why I’ve never taken a risk in my entire life,” Virgil finished.

A smirk grew on Roman’s face as he crossed his arms and leaned into Virgil slightly, “Really, Verge?”

Shoot. His voice had dropped to that deep, mischievous tone Virgil loved. Face pink, he stuttered, “R-really.”

“Hmm, I seem to remember someone taking a rather large risk the first time we kissed, do you remember that?” Roman was teasing and he knew it, but he couldn’t help it, his boyfriend was just so cute when he was flustered.

Throwing his hood over his head in an attempt to cover his adorable blushing face, Virgil responded, “I… wasn’t taking _that_ much of risk there.”

“We weren’t even dating at the time, and you had no idea I liked you yet,” Roman pointed out.

“You’re not exactly one for subtlety, princey, I had a pretty strong suspicion.”

“But without concrete evidence, it would still count as a risk,” Logan joined in.

Rolling his eyes in defeat, Virgil admitted, “Okay, fine. Sometimes you should take risks… risks taken for love can have really, really great payoffs,” the blush on his face deepened.

Grinning, Roman wrapped his arms around Virgil, kissing his cheek, “I’m glad you kissed me, dearest.”

“I am too,” Virgil answered, turning to kiss Roman properly.

Logan processed this insight on risk-taking and love as Roman and Virgil cuddled. He supposed it made sense, to care for someone is putting their needs and their safety before your own, and sometimes that meant taking risks.

“I’m back!” Patton entered the room, setting a plate of cookies on the coffee table.

“What took you so long?” Virgil asked, a bit concerned.

“Well, I may or may not have been impatient and tried to bite into one of the cookies fresh out of the oven...” Patton trailed off.

“Patton!” Logan exclaimed, “You know how unsafe that is!”

Patton offered a sheepish, guilty expression and Logan sighed, “Did you burn your tongue?”

Patton nodded, “Yeah, I had to keep an ice cube in my mouth until the swelling stopped, that’s why I took so long, sorry.”

“Patton, it’s fine, I just don’t want you to hurt yourself, okay?”

“Okay,” Patton smiled slightly, it was nice knowing Logan cared about him.

“Now let’s get back to the rest of the episode!” Roman exclaimed, pressing the play button, and they were all immediately recaptured in the story.


	2. After the binge-watching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan reflects on his ability to express and comprehend emotions (he's also reflecting on how gorgeous Patton looks when he's asleep) while Roman and Virgil are being adorable as heck.

Their marathon continued until they could barely keep their eyes open. Virgil had fallen asleep in Roman’s embrace about two or three episodes before they decided to end their marathon and Patton fell asleep sometime later, his head resting on Logan’s shoulder.

“He’s so cute when he’s sleeping,” Roman whispered, gazing at Virgil.

Logan was unsure how he felt with his crush asleep on his shoulder, but he risked a glance and the sight he was met with made his breath hitch.

Patton’s eyelashes looked like butterflies, and the light pink dusting on his face from the warmth of his cat onesie made him look even prettier. Not to mention the adorable way Patton smiled contently in his sleep, so close to Logan.

A blush spread across Logan’s face from the realization of how absolutely gorgeous Patton was, and he wanted nothing more than cup Patton’s face and kiss him, but he wouldn’t. Consent was important, and Logan would not do anything to Patton- or anyone for that matter- if they were in a state where they could not give consent.

Besides, kissing Patton would wake him up and that would lead to Patton telling Logan how he didn’t feel the same way and breaking Logan’s, _surprisingly existent_ , heart. Logan knew no one could ever love someone as cold and emotionless as he was. No one would ever care for him the way he cared for others, but he tried not to think too much about this, and instead focus on the credits on screen.

The familiar tune brought Logan out of his thoughts, reminding him to breathe and not dwell on negative thinking too much. And so he did, he used the breathing tactic Virgil taught him; in for 4 counts, hold for 7, let out for 8. He repeated this until he was back to his more-normal state.

“Did you hear they released a full version of the song?” Roman whispered, not wanting to disturb Virgil or Patton.

“What?” Logan hadn’t been paying much attention to what was going on.

“The credits song, ‘Love like you,’ they released a full version of it! It’s truly beautiful, Rebecca Sugar has an amazing voice,” Roman explained.

“Oh, I’ll have to listen to it sometime,” Logan really did relate to the lyrics rather closely, and if just one verse moved him as much as it did, he can only imagine how the full version will effect him.

“It’s on YouTube, it’s fantastic,” Roman commented.

Virgil began to stir slightly, blinking and looking up, “Ro?”

“I’m right here, dearest,” Roman comforted, “You fell asleep on the sofa during the marathon,” he ran his fingers through Virgil’s hair gently.

Virgil hummed in content, snuggling closer to his boyfriend.

“C’mon, let’s get you upstairs so you can get some rest,” Roman attempted to stand up, but Virgil clung to him more and whined.

“Nooo! I don’t wanna move”

“I can carry you there if you want,” Roman offered.

Virgil seemed to consider this for a moment before responding, “Okay, but you have to cuddle me to sleep.”

“Deal,” Roman smiled fondly at Virgil as he picked him up and carried him to his room.

The two went off and Logan was left alone with Patton. He decided against waking him, instead maneuvering his head from Logan’s shoulder onto a pillow and lying him sideways on the couch, draping a blanket over him. He removed Patton’s glasses and set them on the coffee table for him.

“Goodnight, Patton,” Logan whispered softly before turning to leave the room.

For a split second, Logan could’ve sworn he heard Patton whisper, “Goodnight, Logan,” back to him, but when he turned around and saw Patton asleep, he was convinced it was just his imagination.


	3. Just a Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan listens to the full version of "Love Like You" and finds he relates to it rather closely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The full version of "Love Like You" can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F8HvKqnp5s  
> Also, I'm sorry for the sadness in this chapter.

Logan returned to his room, brought out his laptop, opened YouTube, and searched “Love Like You Full Version.” He was certain listening to this song would stir emotions in him he’d much rather ignore, but for whatever odd reason lately, he’d been _wanting_ to feel emotions more.

Normally he’d tried his best to hide any and all feelings for the sake of efficiency, but he was learning not to bottle up his emotions because that was a very unhealthy practice. He knew he _needed_ to experience emotions, and not just happy ones, sad ones too.

Even though most of what he felt since he stopped bottling was purely sad and negative thoughts, he knew that in order to feel happy, you must sometimes feel sad, and once you get through the sad times, the happy times will be even better.

He thought about all this as he changed into his pajamas and pulled out his earbuds. He found the song and clicked on it, crossing his legs and closing his eyes, intent on focusing on the music, the lyrics, the _emotions_. And nothing else.

He took a deep breath, and clicked ‘play.’

_“If I could begin to be_   
_Half of what you think of me_   
_I could do about anything_   
_I could even learn how to love”_

Patton. Morality, Pathos, Emotion, the Heart, the core of feelings. He was all that and so much more.

He was so kind, he always saw the good in people, “because that’s what deserves to be seen,” he would say.

Sometimes Logan wondered if those rose-colored lenses made Patton see things in Logan that weren’t actually there. He wondered if Patton saw Logan as so much better of a person than he actually was.

_“When I see the way you act_   
_Wondering when I'm coming back_   
_I could do about anything_   
_I could even learn how to love_   
_Like you”_

~*~

_“This was really fun, Lo! We should watch more shows together!”_

_“Alright, I… wouldn’t be opposed to that.”_

_“Great! Let’s watch another episode!”_

_“I’m afraid I have some papers to grade, Patton, we’ll have to wait for another time.”_

_“Oh, okay then… but we can hang out tomorrow, right?”_

_“Um, sure. I should be able to then.”_

_“Awesome! I can’t wait!”_

~*~

_“I always thought I might be bad_   
_Now I’m sure that it’s true_   
_‘cause I think you’re so good_   
_And I’m nothing like you”_

If Patton knew about Logan’s recent efforts towards _feeling_ emotions rather than bottling them, Logan was certain Patton would only offer words of kindness and support, telling him what a great job he was doing and how brave he was for doing this.

The kind words used to make Logan happy, but ever since his emotions began to affect his self-esteem, he found he’d stopped believing any compliments people gave him.

_“Look at you go_   
_I just adore you_   
_I wish that I knew_   
_What makes you think I'm so special”_

~*~

_“Hey, Logan! There’s a new episode tonight! Wanna watch it together?”_

_“If you don’t mind my company, alright then.”_

_“Of course I don’t mind your company! I’m the one that invited you, silly!”_

_“Oh, alright. I was just unsure whether or not you would prefer to watch it alone.”_

_“Well, I’d prefer to watch it with you!”_

_“But, why?”_

_“Because you’re special to me and I want to spend time with you!”_

_“Oh, okay then. Just, give me a little while to finish up some work, then I’ll be right there”_

_“Okey-dokey!”_

~*~

 _“If I could begin to do_  
 _Something that does right by you_  
 _I would do_ about _anything_  
 _I would even learn how to love”_

Of course, Patton was the reason Logan stopped bottling his emotions. He knew it wasn’t healthy and Patton wanted him to be as healthy and happy as possible, so he’d decided to let himself _feel_ his emotions. He still hadn’t told Patton yet, and he doubted he ever would.

He did this for Patton, even if it hurt at first, he knew it would be for his own good in the long run, and Patton would be proud.

_“When I see the way you look_   
_Shaken by how long it took_   
_I could do about anything_   
_I could even learn how to love like you”_

~*~

_“Patton, I’m so sorry I’m 2 hours late, I- are… are you crying?”_

_“Um, nope! I’m fine, don’t worry about it!”_

_“…okay, then?”_

_“It’s just, uh… allergies. No problems here!”_

_“Alright, I wanted to apologize for being so late, I got caught up in work and completely forgot about spending time with you.”_

_“Oh… it’s fine.”_

_“Something… tells me it isn’t.”_

_“Then that something is wrong because I am A-okay! Promise!”_

_“Well, if you say so.”_

_“Maybe we should both just go get some sleep, the episode ended an hour and a half ago anyway.”_

_“It was recorded, wasn’t it? We can still watch it, right?”_

_“Yeah, it’s recorded, but I feel like it’d be best if we both just, had some time to rest for awhile.”_

_“Oh, okay then.”_

_“See ya tomorrow, Logan!”_

_“See you tomorrow, Patton.”_

~*~

_“Love me like you”_

Why on earth was Logan crushing on _Patton_ of all people? Logan, who knows little to nothing about emotions, could never, in _any_ universe, be with _Patton_ , the _center_ of emotions.

No matter how much Logan wanted to, or how much time he spent with Patton, he could _never_ learn how to express his emotions, never mind love someone.

When Logan had closed his laptop and set it aside with his earbuds, he reached to take his glasses off and realized there were tear stains all down his cheeks. No wonder his eyes feel so heavy and his breathing is labored.

_This must be what crying feels like._


	4. Emotions and Risks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Patton have a meaningful conversation about emotions. Logan takes a risk.

A few times Logan had caught himself absent-mindedly humming the familiar tune. Whether he was walking from room to room, doing work, or making food, the song seemed to stick with him, and over time he began half-singing the lyrics to himself in addition to the tune.

He was in the middle of softly serenading himself again while working at his desk when Patton stopped by his room to remind him to take a break. He heard Logan singing, he decided to stop and listen for a little before disturbing him.

Eventually, Logan softly finished, “Love me, like you.”

“Oh my gosh, Lo! You have such an amazing voice!” Patton exclaimed, startling Logan.

“Patton, don’t sneak up on me like that… how much did you hear?”

“Pretty much the whole thing,” he sheepishly admitted, “I would’ve said something sooner but I couldn’t help but listen to your amazing voice!”

“Well um, thank you,” a pink tint came over Logan’s face as he coughed, trying to cover up his blush, “Um, you’re welcome to come in if you’d like.”

“Sure, thanks!” Patton shut the door behind him and sat on the edge of Logan’s bed, “The song really _is_ amazing, I can relate to it pretty closely,” Patton admitted.

“Really? So can I,” Logan confessed, joining Patton on his bed.

Patton let out a small relieved sigh, “Thanks, it’s really comforting to know I’m not alone in how I feel.”

Logan nodded, “I just felt like I could really connect with the narrator’s inability to express emotions and love,” he chuckled humorlessly, “what with me being the emotionless robot I am,” he half-joked, staring at the floor and fidgeting with his hands.

“You’re not an emotionless robot, Logan. You _have_ emotions, I can tell,” Patton began slowly rubbing Logan’s back, in an attempt to comfort him.

“How?” Logan leaned into Patton’s touch slightly, becoming choked up.

“For one thing, you sound like you’re getting sad right now, and sadness is an emotion.”

Logan scoffed, amused with himself, “It’s the only emotion I’ve been able to feel.”

“You’ll get to experience other emotions too, I promise,” Patton insisted.

“Yes, other emotions! like despair, grief, anger, hatred, depression, and more!” Logan commented sarcastically.

“Stop that,” Patton sternly but caringly instructed, “Things _will_ get better, it might not seem like it now, but they will.”

Logan processed Patton’s words for a minute and sighed, turning to face him, “Patton?”

“Mhm?”

“I… I stopped bottling my emotions,” Logan didn’t know what on earth came over him to confess this, but he said it, and there was no turning back now.

Patton’s face lit up with joy, “That’s amazing, Lo! You’re so brave for taking this step and I believe in you and I know it’s going to turn out great!”

“Thank you, but, I want you to know that…” Logan hesitated, he was really going to say this, wasn’t he? He took a breath to steady himself, “I did it for you,” there it was. He said it.

Patton stilled, “What do you mean?”

“It was you. You inspired me to stop hiding away my feelings, to let my emotions be felt. I knew it was unhealthy to keep bottling everything, so, I’ve been working on letting myself feel emotions, and I wouldn’t be doing it if you hadn’t encouraged me, so thank you.”

Tears were beginning to well up in Patton’s eyes, as he held Logan’s hands in his, “I’m so glad to hear that I helped you make such a positive difference in your life, and I hope to do whatever I can to encourage you to take more positive steps like this in the future.”

“Thank you, Patton. I’m still struggling to express emotions, but I’m definitely letting myself feel them now.”

“That’s good, that’s great, Lo. Gosh, I’m so proud of you,” he gave Logan’s hands a gentle squeeze, “if there’s anything I can help you with, don’t hesitate to let me know.”

Logan nodded, then hesitated again, “Actually… well, do you think you could help me with _expressing_ emotions? I’d like to work on that some.”

“Of course, I’d be glad to help! Most of the time emotional expression is done through words, but sometimes words fail, and when words fail, actions can speak louder than words.”

Logan nodded, processing this, “okay.” He tried his hardest not to think about how close they were, facing each other on his bed, hands still holding the other’s, and faces mere inches apart.

“So, do you want me to give you a scenario and let you come up with ways to express emotions for them?”

Logan nodded.

Patton smiled gently, happy, and very content with spending time, especially in such close proximity, with Logan, “Alright, let’s say… someone hurt you emotionally without meaning to, what would you do?”

“Um, I’d probably tell the person how they hurt me, and then ask them not to do it again in the future.”

Patton nodded, “That’s good! How would you… show someone gratitude if they got you a gift?”

“Well, I’d probably thank them for it and maybe get them something in return. Patton, these aren’t emotions, these are social situations,” Logan pointed out.

Patton fondly rolled his eyes, “Okay, um, emotions…” Patton’s face pinked a bit as he internally debated with himself. He took a breath and began, lacing his fingers with Logan’s, “How would you… show someone… um,”

“Yes?” Logan encouraged.

 “How would you show someone that you love them?”

_Oh._

Patton stared deep into Logan’s eyes as he spoke, almost as if he were trying to send a message to him.

Logan blushed, face immediately red. His mind began to construct a reply, when… he had an idea.

Patton _did_ say, “Actions can speak louder than words,” so maybe if Logan…

 _No!_ It was too risky. He would _not_ -

But then again, Logan remembered the words of Virgil, “Risks taken for love can have really, really great payoffs.”

Logan made up his mind.

After the long period of silence following his question, Patton got the idea, at least, he _thought_ he did. He tried his hardest not to cry as he let go of Logan’s hands. beginning to apologize for overstepping his boundaries.

“I… I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer tha-“

“Patton,” Logan silenced him by gently cupping his face, and staring deeply into his eyes.

Patton’s breath hitched as his eyes darted to Logan’s lips for a moment before returning to stare into Logan’s eyes.

“Is this alright?” Logan whispered as he leaned in slightly, wanting consent before taking this next risk.

Patton nodded, “Very much so, yes.”

Logan smiled, taking a breath before closing his eyes, leaning in all the way, and connecting their lips.

~*~

That night, there would be _two_ couples cuddling on the sofa watching Steven Universe together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this! I hope you enjoyed! This fanfic Definitely took a turn from the original outline. Rather than being a cute, sweet, one-shot, it turned into a multi-chapter in-depth character study of Logan. But I think I like this one better than the original draft, this one has more depth.


End file.
